Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
his electricity got shut off. i felt like a pilgrim searching for his dick.
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
I put the extra pregnancy test in my sex toys box as a reminder that my actions have consequences.
You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
Cop came to our door looking for you. Something about sex in public and intoxication. I said you matched the description.
Yeah man it sucked balls. People on the bus probably thought I was fucking crazy. I was fetal position, taking up two seats with no shame whilst simultaneously panting.
Black out Jordan is making huge strides. I didn't even pee on anyone or anything last night.
" my drug dealer just stopped by and did an elmo impression for my 2 year old nephew."
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
Stacy lit a fart and burn half of the couch down before we can put the Flames out. Bring your truck.
not even sure this counts as hungover but like my body can't exist in reality today
Randomize
