I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
college "breaks" should be renamed "reminder why you left your hell hole of a life in the first place"
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
Ummm. I just wanna say this now: Don't let me invite the band back to the apartment to see my stripper pole.
Fell asleep on the Grass at Lolla woke up in the Brown line. What. The. Fuck.
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
He asked me how france is treating me
Tell him you got so much dick you may never come back to the US. That ought to keep him away
I just smoked weed with my physics professor. Tell me how my life is this.
you bit my nipple really hard and then looked at me and said 'i feel responsible for the state of your nipples'
don't bring your nerd jargon into this conversation about my naked body
I knew it was love when he told me he wants to see me have multiple orgasms in one night
I have jizz, in my hair. I'm sitting in class with jizz. In. My. Hair. I need to make better life choices.
are you watching the world series?
I've made out with alex bregman... so yes
Dude, I danced with Abe Lincoln! How could last night have been any better???
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