I need to just get drunk and eat a pot pie.
You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
She's the barista slut.
explain the broken jalepenos in my underwear drawer?
Just found out drinking 6 trays of random shots makes me wake up on a club toilet with my underwear and jeans around my ankles
I just found a hunk of ham in my back jeans pocket from god knows when. We gotta stop going so ham.
I gave you a lap dance in a bowling alley... And I was Fine?
this is definitely the first time I've ever had an orgasm and then had potatoes smeared on me within the same hour
don't bring your nerd jargon into this conversation about my naked body
This makes me appreciate being single with no prospects.
He made her leave because she liked Top-Ramen better than Maruchaun. He's my hero.
I hate when my Bumble matches make it hard for me to stalk them.
i should probably stop doing things just because i think they’re funny. i’m not going to.
Randomize
