I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
Puked in a cab. Passed out on my floor an my mom put a blanket over me. Home by 1045. I won shitshow trophy last night.
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
Please tell me how I go from a guy with a coke problem to a cop. My own life doesn't even make sense to me anymore
Yo, go checkout Kerri's Instagram quick! There's like 12 pics of her fucking some guy in a bar's bathroom. GO GO GO GO!!!!
New rule. Every time you and I have a disagreement that lasts longer than 10min, while in a bar, we'll have a shot. Figure we'll eventually start agreeing sooner rather than later...
No you don't understand. This tree is really alive. Like in Pocahontas.
Hahahaha don't tempt me. Remember we're trying to avoid airport jail if possible
Ted is on HBO in 20 minutes...not sure if this or the drunken dance party I had at the bar to a N*SYNC Christmas song 20 minutes ago is the highlight of my week so far.
Sometimes you have a glimmer of a heart and then I immediately remember you are dead inside.
Just threw up in the trash can at my desk. I guess "beating the hangover" eventually leads to this.
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
Anal on new furniture sounds like a quickest way to violate a warranty
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