I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
the date was going great.. until he pulled down his pants and asked if there was any hair in between his cheeks.
I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
Working out to an exercise video on OnDemand. Also, drinking beer and eating cream cheese with a side of bagel in between stretches.
Thank you for not puking on my lap during the first class of the semester. And fuck you for doing it in the second.
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
So in the middle of making out, he decided to give me a breast exam. God I love dating a doctor. He saved me a $20 copay.
I'm now having weird sexual fantasies about that riverdancing figure skater. So thanks for that.
The hot streak continues..if life was NBA jams i would be "on fire" right now
Sorry I didn't call this morning. Ended up with a decorated war veteran last night who besides finding the enemy, KNEW where the fuck my G spot was. He gets a medal in my book!
I'll seduce him with my charm, after all, I am a graceful swan.
More like a demented cow.
Taco Bell is better for you than cocaine, I promise.
I dont think you understand. A NOODLE FELL OUT OF MY VAGINA! I DEMAND TO KNOW WHAT YOU DID TO ME LAST NIGHT!
Randomize
