I'm like connect-the-dots of drunk. Whiskey, bourbon, vodka, rum, gin. The hidden picture is me faceplanting.
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
MRIs the morning after St. Patty's Day was a poor choice.
For future reference, even the most well-intentioned game of whiskey pong is a terrible idea.
Her roommate texted her and told her that her cat died. Now she's double-fisting bottles of wine while howling and wailing her dead cat's name. Not how I pictured this booty call.
What time did you start drinking?
Maybe.
Maybe isn't a time...
Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
walked into my roommates bathroom to her throwing up a quesadilla while singing come on skinny taco
Please let me buy the coffee, all my assets are in starbucks gift cards
The fact that I can now puke rainbows on snapchat makes my life that much better
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
Dude on the shuttle bus eating a Butterfinger and watch porn on his phone and doesn’t give a fuck who knows
We need to get on his level
Randomize
