Bisexual people are plain selfish.
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
i just lost my virginity over my 3 hour lunch break..
u hav a 3 hour lunch break?!
i like how the length of my lunch break is the thing that phases u
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
I swear every time I make the effort to make my hair look nice, someone jizzes in it.
you can feel better about your life now. i slept with a guy who has gold teeth
I blacked out after the shots of canned lobster bisque.
he laminated a picture of his dick.
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
Just got my stitches out.. Now I can give a proper hand job
We're trying to make our wedding vows nice but meeting on OkCupid fucks that up entirely.
We had sex while watching the republican debate. I'm not sure how he maintained an erection watching Donald Trump speak.
I just woke up to my family in the living room watching our security camera tape of me last night talking to a stop sign in our backyard... How the fuck did I get that in the yard?
He was walking around and kept offering the neighbors flamingo lawn ornaments shots of vodka.
Randomize
