she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
i drank out of a bidet.
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
You didn't see us wave? How could you not? We were all going like 10mph screaming at you. We were stoned and didnt wanna run over pedestrians
Can't promise anything, there's vodka in my thermos
Can we dedicate this weekends marathon sexcapades to all the haters?
Everyone is drunk but me. Fantastic. Everyone is hooking up but me. Awkward.
I had a pitcher of margaritas. Now I'm in a laundry room being a 5th wheel and crying. I made myself a bed out of a pool floatie. I win.
I just wanna be like "dude your gf's on a porn site" but i just dont know if i have the heart.
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
well a fat roach just fell out of my hair. so there's that
Dude my doctor just legit got down on her knees and loudly begged me to do my pap smear
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well
Vocabulary what?!? Shakespeare is my bitch.
Randomize
