Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
God gave me these boobs for a reason other than for people to throw things down them.
I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
Just scheduled a cocaine deal around my drug counsler appointment. Why yes, thank you, I do enjoy the irony that is my life.
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
I found his retainer in my ass crack. It smells like shame.
1 be hot 2 flirt with everyone 3 use hotness to make people do things for you. It's a simple model.
By the end of the night I was using him as a leg rest and he was handing me pizza rolls when I wiggled my hand. It's a proven method.
All I want to do on Facebook today is comment on people I knew in high schools profile pictures and tell them how much uglier they are now.
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
Next time, dont ever let me talk to a guy drunk, especially if I have class with him the next day
Who do you have class with??
The guy that pulled down his pants in the middle of the dance floor to show me his tattoo
Had to leave my skype meeting to vomit. I'm obviously ready for the real world.
The bottle brush for the bong worked really well to clean the brownies out of the waffle maker.
It baffles me why I still wear white underwear...
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