I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
I swallowed your vile semen and you don't know what color my fucking eyes are!?
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
while you were getting the key to the dorm from the lobby i was giving a drunk monolog to the security camera about my life
He tried peeing out of the sunroof.
I got groped on the dancefloor by both grooms. I love gay weddings
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
HE IS COURTING ME WITH CHINESE FOOD AND IT IS WORKING.
The Supreme Court upheld health insurance. If that's not an excuse to get hospital drunk, I don't know what is.
My stuff that was at your place last night smells like doughnuts. I'm not even mad.
I feel like the dump I just dropped is the most successful thing I've done so far today.
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
Yeah just had sex and grub hub came right after he did. I’d say it’s a win.
I love you, but seriously, that was way too long a thesis on an Arby’s curly fry being wrapped around schlong!
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