I just masturbated at work. Does that make me a prostitute since i just technically got paid to have sex?
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
For future reference, the words 'big' and 'problem' should be used sparingly with a person whom you have recently had copious amounts of unprotected sex
Plus my stomach has been speaking through my ass all day sending notes saying "fuck you" and "this is from your liver" or "i will kill you."
I was pissed last night bc this girl didn't want to have sex but offered to reimburse me for the condoms. That just made me upset
I think they took out their livers years ago and replaced them with like cheese graters or something. Only explanation.
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
Apparently I give handjobs in my sleep. So that's interesting.
As much of a hooker as I am you don't slam where you drink
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
I puked on her cat, I think I should at least buy her breakfast
Okay she just told me to turn the volume down on the fan. What does this even mean?
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
Why am I not drinking beer at 8:26am is the question
AND ONCE AGAIN THE HENNESSEY MAKES ME A SUPER SAIYAN
Oh for fuck's sake, is that why the couch is in the pool???
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