why did i wake up with a kid named Raphael in my bed this morning?
I dont know but you did call last night to tell me you found the last ninja turtle
Oh no. He has the "I'm 30 years old and I just shit myself in public" face.
I think my penis got bigger when i lost weight
we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
Dude i just want you to know that when i found you half your mustache was already gone. I didn't do it.
sorry i was making out with matt didn't mean for it to sound like that. there was no tone
there should be a new saying, don't text and tongue
I already wrote the apology to my liver. He knows whats up
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
My building was evacuated who wants to quake and bake
We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
I sobered up in the middle of it, that I was hooking up with him in a rosemary bush. I woke up smelling like a pasta dish
They shouted last call and the guy next to me and I looked each other up and down and went in unison "yup, you'll do"
Also, let me tell you how embarrassing it is to match with someone who seemingly has their shit together at 4:45AM on a Thursday.
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
Randomize
