just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
I definitely just put my boxers on backwards.
haha now u have to piss out ur bum
we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
do you know anything about the $5 bill with my name stapled to it in my purse??
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
Last night I walked out of the bar got in a cab asked the cabi to circle the block. he did and brought me right back to the bar. I paid him $7 thanked him and walked back into the bar.
just got booed by the entire restaurant.
i just was bootyclappin in front of homeless men in a back alley
all my mom knows is what I put on facebook. So... I mean... She knows we drink a lot.
My mom is lecturing me about 'invaluable housekeeping skills' while I google 'cocktails involving gin' on my phone. I can feel the generational gap looming in her silent judgment of my choices.
I can't promise that. They just put an extra shot in my margarita.
You cannot meet up with him at the tailgate, his parents are there. What are you going to say "Hi I'm the one who fucks your son, can I get a cheeseburger?"
I asked him to help me break in the space ship aka my bed.
I literally just want someone to fuck me and buy me cheeseburgers. I don't even want a relationship at this point. Just a chew toy and some food.
There's a random table in the kitchen...and it's not the kitchen table...we don't know where it came from
Randomize
