Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
Dude, the girl i fucked last night left wearing my high school musical shirt you bought me. she also left her panties here though.
The one with Zac Efrons face on it? You definitely got the short in of the stick. i'd rather have the shirt
fuck. yeah me too. i don't even think these panties would fit me
it seems as if every mistake i've ever made in life i've had an errection in one hand and a bud light in the other
We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
connan obrien reminds me of an asparagus spear
Next time i try to unbutton my R.A's shirt with my teeth, please stop me
No promises.
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
and I'm sitting five inches from the tv scrunched up in a ball watching doug. It's like I'm five again...except I'm more stoned than the dude who created this show
Was just walking through the park by the river. Saw some random in a tree, we climbed up, blazed with him and bought a bag. In the tree. Real shit.
Also I legit had a girl at my bar crying tonight saying to her friend "why did he have to take his top off ?"
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
I'm currently eating a turkey dinner, listening to xplosive by dr. Dre, and drinking rum. Hispanic christmas dinners are the best.
New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
"You're the only girl I haven't made out with yet" = worst pick up line ever
Wine through a straw in a subway cup.....classy
Randomize
