she told me her fantasy was her as a 55 year old cook at a truck stop who smokes a pack a day, and I was the 21 year old illegal immigarnt prep cook.
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
I'm sitting in front of the mirror eating cereal and pondering how my boobs got so big
Welcome to my life
We decided to leave the bar after we shattered a glassand then drive to steal a baby pool for our water festivities tomorrow
im standing in line right now while the 711 manager calls other locations to see if they have the john cena collectors slurpee cup in stock...yep i need to get laid
I am as serious as getting herpes in Mexico...
What do herpes have to do with anything?
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
Power went out. She lit a candle and gave me head. Made some pretty impressive candlelight cocksucking shadowpuppets. Must be what porn was like in olden times.
You were crying and singing wanted dead or alive while trying to eat cold soup, I think that pathetic is an understatement
I have just gotten home. I saw a lot of penis tonight. On a trampoline. Shit got weird.
Ok, it's starting to sound like someone's out there trying to learn to play the trombone while breaking kitchenware.
you showed up at my door at 3am, handed me a bag of cold chicken nuggets and said "lead me to the non-irish Siobhans," do YOU think you were tripping?
You're always so late and I'm always so drunk.
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
You ran the halls of the dorm naked handing out condoms. You were the sex fairy. Best you can do if you're not getting laid.
Randomize
