I'm surprised I didn't puke tonight
just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
The reason halloween exists is because it's not cheating if you're wearing a costume.
You know that hot fire fighter I fucked yesterday? Well him and two other guys are killing the fire on my stove. Awkward.
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
so apparently i worked out for over an hour last night. drinking is the only way i will ever get anything done
I really wanna punch him. Right in his cell-phone-sized penis
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
I am NOT getting arrested in a wig.
He managed to tell me he was blind in one eye and convince me to have sex with him in the same conversation. It's love.
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
I have got to stop letting people hang ornaments from my nipple ring.
Tis the season.
Ladies and gentlemen, the only person I know who would keg stand in pearls and a bow.
Some dude peed on tonys floor because drunkness
They offered him a bucket as he was peeing and he was like "Nah, I'm good"
Randomize
