I just Organized my jello shots by their colors in my mini fridge for the rest of the week. I'm going places in life.
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
Yeah we can't find him. He left a note saying he left and isn't that drunk with what appears to be an attempt at the quadratic formula for proof. He also wrote down his number and left his phone by the note
I have pictures of you taking tequila shots off the front of the police car when the cop wasn't looking.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
Just thought i'd let you guys know that my dad was roofied at a lesbian bar last night...
It took all the strength I had tto sit at my desk and not tear off my business attire and run screaming from adulthood and flourescent lights.
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
She said our goal is to fuck in every bathroom at the reception which is at a country club. I will have the best wedding date ever! Were 4 for 4 in public.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You'd think the neighbors would be used to grown men coming into my house drunk at 230 am.
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
A little, yeah. We were stealing firewood from the neighbors (drunk), and figured it would be 10 times harder to be angry with us if we got caught if we were naked, and 100% more hilarious.
im buying my prof a giftcard to the state store bc he talked ab crying into a glass of tequila so he deserves it
How are you feeling today?
Like Satan handed me a grenade and ass sandwich.
He's asking how tall I am he wants to make a body suit out of me
Randomize