how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
We each get one free throw up cleaning, no questions asked.
Why do guys in porn never have boxers on?
better question: why do you always text me when you're watching porn
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
i've eaten like 19 popsicles... what the fuck have you done today?
And now we should drink to that moment where you realize you didn't exactly think things through.
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
I saw him and didn't have sex with him. Responsibility five!
He's ninety percent amazing leader, brother, and teacher, and ten percent unforgivable douche. These are the men I look up to in my life.
The hat, the beard, the hard posing - like who does he think he is?
A bag of dicks
That's dating life
Learn from my mistakes. DO NOT try to steam a garment of clothing while you are wearing it. The burn is not worth the de-wrinkle.
million dollar idea: razor dispensers in bar bathrooms. your welcome, girls who didn't think they were getting laid tonight.
After 3 parties, all of them busted, and 4 field sobriety tests, I AM the cop whisperer
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
Randomize
