How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
I'm already at the bar. It's 2 PM. Help
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
Disregard the shoes in the freezer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Standing in my kitchen eating choc chip cookie batter from the bowl. As sad as it is, I kinda like the places bad breakups take me.
Just so you know, a 6'7" tall gay man, with a martini in one hand and a fairy wand in the other, is not a force to be reckoned with...don't ask.
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
Did you drink ALL that 151??
No. We drank all the jaeger... Then used the 151 to start the fire. We're also out of paper towels... And your hairspray is flammable.
...and that's why girls with IBS don't paint their nails
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
someday i'll meet a man and who loves me as much as i love getting drunk and starting fires
Ugh... The hoe gods giveth and the hoe gods taketh away.
Maybe it’s too soon to casually tell the boss that I went to Tulsa for some dick last night
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
Next time I think it’s a good idea to hook up with any of your wife’s family members or friends just kick me in my dick
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