Haha, just learned changing others iPhone passcodes is fun while drunk but not fun the next morning.
so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
I think I explained what happened in the voicemail. But I think I might have just cried and ranted about how cool osiris shoes are
The last thing I remember is stabbing him with his diabetes medicine
I wish they could condense everything I needed, nutritionally speaking, into mike and ikes
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
That's what every 12 year old basketball team needs; a drunk and hungover lady eating KD whilst cheering them on. Highlight of their lives.
It wasn't even dirty talking, it was more like the soothing gentle nonsense noises you make when you've spooked a horse.
Remember that time I hopped home naked from the bar, then tried to convince you I was ok to drive you home? Good call on the taxi.
He called me khaleesi while I rode his dick. He wins
Should I be worried if two ants just crawled out of my purse?
Yes!
Oh no...did you put star fish over your nipples again?
Btw I thought it was impossible to use up 48 bottles of patron in one night but I was wrong...
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
Randomize
