I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
I feel like jumping into a breast pit right now. Like the old school ball pits at mcdonalds.
I did the crab walk everywhere because I was drunk enough that it was easier than standing up.
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
You kept asking her which dick pills worked the best. She's a grandmother.
Oh, and apparently I was butt ass naked and walked into the room where anna was skyping her dude in afghanistan and said "This is happening."
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
A very confused plastic surgeon just called. Apparently I called asking how much it costs to get a vodka funnel installed straight to my brain...
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
I think I sent pictures of my boobs to an Olympic athlete...
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
you asked how they got the microwave in the air. we had to explain three times that it was mounted there until you finally feel asleep
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
Randomize
