i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
his dog just threw up on me too. its like im a throwup magnet to that family.
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.
And we all know God doesn't like sinners.
Amen.
His hands were made for my vagina.
Are you seriously gonna shit with that life vest on?
I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying.
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
I know shes my ex. And I know she punched me in the face and stole my car to go get drunk. But it's the best sex I've ever had.
You're sick. Take pictures if you can.
When did I go from having sugar daddies to being one? And does it count as a tax write off?
Bar selfie Saturday turned into bar nudie Saturday in a hurry. I need to delete my snapchat...
I swear, the cow we tried to tip tried to eat me. and all I could think was, oh how the tables have turned. worst trip ever
I'm on the couch watching HGTV googling giant boob Halloween costumes so life is swell
The true debate: do I prioritize going to bed and getting more than six hours of sleep or do I prioritize washing out various grease, leaf bits, and jizz out of my hair
Someone sitting next to me at this football game is totally eating chicken nuggets out of his pocket and drinking four loko. I wanna be him.
Randomize
