I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
I interrupted her conversation with, "are we gonna fuck yet?" and she immediately got naked. thanks for the blind date
He's throwing up in my bed and I'm not even getting fucked for this
I showed remarkable dignity in such a compromising situation. Except I came off as sort of a blue ball giver.
You've got the short couch unless you find some girl to take you home
Challenge accepted.
He sent a pic, I sent one back. Then nothing. It's like we sext-messaged goodbye and ended the relationship.
I bought a dress specifically for face plant durability... this is how serious I am about my drunk status this weekend
Speaking of ejaculate, did you get the side of your car cleaned off?
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
I'd say you were a shitshow. Playing floating beer pong in the pool you kept filling other people's cups with pool water and laughing to yourself.
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
Got so drunk last night I kinda sent a super on point sext to his kid sister...say a prayer man
To be clear you just said "I'll give you a baby" as a sext?
I managed to convince her that the egg yolks were actually orange juice and she fell for it
Randomize
