The worst part was when my mom got more drunk than anyone else and started doing the Time Warp.
Some broad at the bar just asked me how much money I make. I don't know whats worse, the question or the answer.
ya and he came three minutes into it because he didnt have sex all summer
oh that makes more sense i knew you arent that good
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
this is your 3rd pregnancy scare in 2 years, I think its time for you to re-evaluate the whole 'im a lesbian' thing
All I I know is that there's 2 new contacts in my phone. Drunk Backdoor and Gayass Handshake. Thanks, Jameson.
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
No. I'm wrapped up in my sheets like a burrito. Carry me
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
i dont know whats worse..that i woke up in a gorilla suit or that its covered in peanut butter
I had the most traumatic dream I've ever had just now. I ripped my dick off because a girl asked me to and spent the rest of the dream crying about my dick
ok NEVER tell the strippers its your birthday. i think i have to burn these clothes and take a bath in bleach
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
The people at Perkins seem so judgemental. Big deal if i'm handcuffed to stripper in a star-n-stripes bikini. We still gotta eat.
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