Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
I'm not crazy, I only keep calling you cause you won't pick up.
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
I just did my online traffic school at the bar. No biggie.
Watching Argentina vs Germany during a wedding on an iPhone. Thank you Steve Jobs.
I had the spins so badly it was like I was having sex with 2 girls
i had to get the starbucks manager to open the bathroom door for me...you passed out on the floor, the things i do for you
Pretty sure I was rubbing Halloween candy all over my face and saying "these are my bitches."
If eating a cheesesteak naked doesn't make me feel better, then I don't know what will.
It's a strange mix of shame and pride every time I pee at the bar and still see my lipstick on the bathroom wall...
This isn't a because its valentines day booty call, it's a because your cock is phenomenal booty call that happens to be on valentines day..
Do you want to go soon I'm overthinking life and my butthole again
What's the tour de bar? Is that a thing, or is it just what you call Saturdays?
Can I just go naked and covered in glitter?
You stumbled into the hotel room escorted by security and then went into the bathroom sat by the toilet, threw up for hours while slamming your head on the wall and whimpering "why" over and over.. I went to bed
Randomize
