but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
I don't think he understands the importance of corndogs. Or condoms for that matter.
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment.
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
Her desktop wallpaper is a collage of penises she fucked.
i'm calling it my monica lewinsky shirt now. may it live forever in infamy.
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
Well if you don't want to be kicked out before last call don't I would suggest stop drinking whiskey and don't call the giant bouncer with the neck tattoo "princess"
You gotta come over now. He is eating cupcakes while they are still in the foil.
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
I just caught my bangs on fire trying to lite a bowl while driving. Thank god it wasn't my eyebrows like last time.
Do you recall asking me to zip line through your wedding dressed as a bleeding angel?
Randomize
