Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
I'm at the casino and some dude apparently has money in an entire row of slot machines. Its like watching a really intense adult version of wack a mole
Btw, just wanna point out that you've hooked up with two guys whose birthdays are today. Congratulations, you have a type!
He has pizza coupons and a hammer next to his toilet.
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
Yeah, you went up to him and said "I stare at people until they feel obligated to talk to me."
i just called my dad a bottom. he agreed
This guy is selling weed on the train. Like... Straight up. No fucks given.
PENIS EMOJIS WOULD MAKE MY LIFE SO MUCH EASIER GAH WHY DOES THE WORLD HATE ME
We had a moment of silence for all of the orgasms he gave me with his beard before he shaved it off.
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
The school better be open next year. I’ve been FB stalking Dads of my incoming students and there’s serious DILFage in this class! Maybe 2020 will turn around!
It’s 2020. You’ll probably get knocked up. If you’re really lucky you’ll just get the clap
Randomize
