I'm constantly one strobe light away from an E flashback
i called my mom using *69 and said this was the principal and Matt has a snow a day today. she believed me.
there should be laws that require people like to me to be on birth control.
I left my toothbrush at her house. This is getting way too serious for me.
They called me at 5 AM saying they had a present for me
May the one with the liver that just won't quit win
I don't like sad things. I do like drinking though
i refuse to give everyone the satisfaction of seeing the results of my acting on my thoughts
It was going great until he started saying "ooh kill em" under his breath with each thrust
She made sure everyone knew we were doing shots for her dead grandma.
Can't decide if it was more awkward buying sheets together or disposing of them afterwards
Why is there never any toilet paper at his apartment? What does he wipe his ass with? WHAT DOES HE WIPE IT WITH?!?
Let's be honest, I've seen a decent amount of dicks in my life and very few of them have been worth all the trouble.
I woke up on the floor with 2 cartons of cigarettes, a box of chocolate bars, and a business card for a man named Larry. Don't remember him, but if the Rols on his card is his, I might throw him a mouth party...
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
Randomize
