No, a stripper letting you buy her dinner is not the same as a girlfriend.
you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
i wasn't about to bring her gummy handcuffs to her father's funeral
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
You wouldn't be the first friend to shit himself in the last 7 days
Well at least it wasn't the first time I threw up out of a second story window
We had him convinced Visine is flammable. He was genuinely freaked out that everyone would know when he was stoned.
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
I still don't like him. I'm also filled with alcohol, so I'll revisit the statement in the morning.
I'm in Home Depot and I can feel the straight bob the builders staring at me. I bet it's like I have a rainbow arrow pointing at me.
Dude i'm still drunk and i'm feeding a raccoon cereal from my bedroom window
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
HE LEFT ME THE DAY AFTER I LET HIM PEE ON ME. If you date him after that, I'll leave the fucking PLANET.
woke up with a tree in my apartment. also the everclear bottle is suspiciously low
suspiciously? i think one of those explains the other
Randomize
