There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
Looking at the victoria's secret website makes the ice cream I'm eating taste like sadness and obesity
Guy next to me at the plasma center is high and watching porn on his itouch. I am wayy to hung over for this level of poor.
coming out of a blackout being surrounded by Disney police was not as awesome as it sounds.
i drank out of my shoe...were you seriously expecting me to be the voice of reason?
Pretty sure I recall hugging our waiter from the bar last night. That also means we are NEVER going there again
Just watched a guy get through airport security with a full bottle of captain morgan. In my head the entire airport cheered.
The alcohol tastes like we did a beer run at the nail salon
I totally just pulled my thong out of my purse at the grocery store. Oops.
I'm about to order this penis-casting kit so text me within 5 mins if you're not down
do you think mom is upset that i left with the stripper from her bachelorette party last night?
I woke up with what has to be a whole pack of smarties loose in my bra. Was that your fault?
As much as I hate to admit it, some day ill need a man because I can't open jars myself and you can't 69 a dildo
Like I don't even know how to respond to this?
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
Randomize
