I regularly think about how cool your nickname is
I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
I just high-fived this girl after she swallowed.
not allowed to tweet this cos she's following me but i definitely just got head in a stairwell of the university of chicago. wanted you all to know.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You tried feeding my python vodka through a funnel. Fuck off.
There was a guy running for some position in our government named "young boozer" hell yes I voted for him
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So, your gf couldn't walk up the stairs without your help, but she could knit you a scarf?
I think the fact that the scarf was made out of dental floss should be taken into account.
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
I think I'm just gonna be a cat and wear slutty black clothes with some eyeliner on my face and pretend my ears got stolen by a drunk guy
Hey, sorry for threatening to teabag your mom to death last night
Where's the chopping off someone's balls emoji
Its the damn oven. I think it wants to eat me.
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