The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
You keep asking me questions like I have this magical thing called a memory
I'm going to community service drunk, and I'm still going to be the most normal person there.
so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
Literally 6000 elephants in my backyard.
So, do you know where my left shoe is? I mean, we were at a few places last night, and I called them. No luck for me.
the most drunk i have ever been? possibly. the most drunk i have ever been on a monday? definently.
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
My ex just sent me a message asking if she could blow me, but only if we get caught by her new bf. If she promises to swallow I'm doing it.
I don't know. She kept pirouetting across the kitchen while making dinner. I just sat there stoned.
(This is the second time ive been high enough to decide to run for office)
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
Well I'm in a stranger's bed.
Gotta leave to watch the Lions
if jesus wore shoes made out of pure flavor and hurricane kicked u in the face thats how it feels to eat pizza bites right now
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
Randomize
