I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
Tostitos scoops are the best shotglasses ever. Eat it after as a chaser.
Shes been standing with her arms crossed in front of the mirror for 45 minutes...she told me she's "getting sober"
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
Yeah he doesn't get it. We had to change the subject to Keanu reeves before someone got hurt.
I fucked her and then she made me sleep on the floor next to her bed because she 'has a committment problem'
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
At the end of the white elephant exchange, our professor had a big black dildo around her neck and I won a full body dinosaur suit. I could die tomorrow with no regrets.
My younger brother just got high fives from all my guy cousins for fucking my best friend. I hate family gatherings.
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
I got laxative. And a toothbrush. Because who wants to buy just laxative on a Friday night?
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
I'm so baked, I spent the last hour trying to screencapture the cracks on my phone.
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
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