DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
Just waterfalled in the movie theatre... this is the beginning to a good night
He's engaged. If the world's smallest penis can find true love than I can too.
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
Dude next time u fuck on our counters will u please let me know BEFORE I make lunch.
Got home last night and found a Big Mac in the shower, tampons all over the place, and two pairs of your panties on the front porch.
All I want is to send a text that says "i slept with someone while wearing nothing but purple argyle socks this weekend." But the only person i would send that to is you. But you already know. Because they were your socks.
If sandwichs had dicks, my life would be complete
Would it be weird to bake him a cake that says "sorry I peed on your bed"?
Tempted to tell the Titos promoters at this bar that they are doing the lords work.
How can I prove that I give 401k advice and not handjobs?
Never thought I'd see the day when I got assless chaps in the mail, and yet here we are...
You make me want to do things that I'm pretty sure are illegal.
Nobody cheats on THIS.
I can't take 'get a man' advice from you. You'll stick your penis in a warm banana peel.
Randomize
