Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
Woke up this morning to a janitor hitting me in the head with his bucket in the hallway of my building. An alumni was next to me because we locked ourselves out of my room and couldn't figure out where my roommates were.
I'm so fucking pissed that I wasted my shooting star wish on him and his little penis.
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we were canoeing in the lake and i asked if he was too drunk for this, and he said "don't worry about it, i'm half native american"
Update: I only have one shoe. The other one now belongs to the gods of jello-wrestling. May it rest in peace.
I have a physical this friday. On a scale from 1-10, 10 being the most judgemental gay bashing, how much judgement am I gonna get from my dr when he checks my balls and sees the cherry tattoo
Regardless of your intentions, deep throating a Twinkie is NOT sexy. You owe that poor cashier an apology the next time you pump gas.
New fuck buddy and long time fuck buddy are carpooling home for thanksgiving. #10hrconvoaboutmyblowjobskills
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just went over my top ten highlight reel with that guy I'm fucking. It was like we were sports announcers. But about sex.
I walked out and he was covered in jelly, slithering around the floor. I don't know how to process that.
On the way home she told me she was in kindergarten when 9/11 happened
Im sober enough to understand what people are saying but drunk enough to understand its hilarious
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
Looking back, we probably shouldn't have chased alcohol with more alcohol
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