I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
I'm gonna put my relationship status as "widowed" to see if it helps me get some poon.
It's not normal to lose a tooth eating a McDouble.
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He slow fucked me. Doggy style. On a porch. You never slow fuck doggy style. Its a law. A LAW.
I have a sixth sense for dads free balling in gym shorts
No Bryan wants to get drunk, rub inappropriate dudes legs, talk about my vagina and send me pics of his boomerang dick. That's not how you watch basketball.
That's how he does EVERYTHING!
Like the friend zone has no room for winks
Can I chase this vodka with an onion?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he offered me cocaine within 5 minutes of my arrival. yes of course i'm keeping him
He said my vagina is harder to escape than the Temple of Doom.
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
Speaking of lightening speed, he ate me out while I was watching The Flash. If that's not winning at life idk what is
I haven't had sex since the Vanilla Ice concert
Please don't have sex ever again just so you can say that forever.
He stopped eating me out to remind me to look at the stars
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