hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
I used a bag of wine as a pillow last night.
Mars, I'm going to name my child horatio mars. He will hate me till he gets high. Then he'll understand
so then you were screaming "GIVE ME KELVINS!" and heating things up in the microwave and no one knew what you wanted
Her husband keeps getting drunk and making out with me. Good news is I found the strep carrier. Bad news is have strep again.
I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
It's amazing I mean I blew that senator just for him to deny me marriage.... Politics suck and he swallowed!
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
I was stopped at a light on my way home and a priest threw holy water on my car. Seems fitting after last night.
Hold on, I need to find something to wear that says "I don't contribute to your daughter's drug problem"
I just had to remind myself that I'm visible in real life. Sitting in the car in a parking lot, and almost took my shirt off because the tag is itchy and I wanted it off... and you know I don't wear bras...
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
This is why we can never be together. Well that and we r married to other ppl but that's very minor detail compared to the coffee issue
My sweat smells like Wild Turkey. I'm really feeling the holiday spirit.
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
Randomize
