he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
Married on the beach in PCB while blackout drunk. Bonged beers on the sandbar for a bachelor party. They shotgunned beers at the end of the vows. How is spring break allowed to happen?
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
Just coerced a Santa to buy me a handle. Tis the season.
You drank everything last night. It was like this huge deconstructed long island that went on for 5 hours
BECKY! ITS ANDY FROM LAST NIGHT WITH THE PILL
Andy, Sorry you have the wrong number. But good luck with Becky!
MASS TEXT: Lets start a new tradition. Black Friday log pic contest. I'm waiting.
I made people serenade her before talking to her and went on a condom run. If I'm going to be in the friend zone, I'm going to be its fucking king.
Meanwhile I'm working a fucking flute workshop and I'm one high c away from shoving a flute up the asshole of the next passerby
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
Ok, maybe playing "whose family is most dysfunctional" wasn't the best drunk idea we've had. Todd''s been crying in the bathroom for an hour. We can't get him out...
You tried to chase every shot with a blueberry.
Randomize
