I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
We always say that. And then its 4am and someone is screaming at strippers.
He hid IN a snowbank for 2 hours waiting for me to come home. This game has to stop before someone dies.
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
I'm about to get my nails done. Would the polish name "meet me at the altar" be too straight forward for a first date?
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
I'm taking a shit break of discontent as a personal protest
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
i wasnt sure i had a crush on her until i woke up this morning and saw i had googled fifteen variations of "lesbian marriage in estonia". where the fuck is estonia
Banged former boss. Adulthood achievement unlocked.
Waking up drunk is great, waking up drunk and hanging with your mom is even better.
I really need to get a comfy set of masturbating shoes
Randomize
