i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
Im starting to realize why people dont masturbate while driving
Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
Just opened a bottle with my rape whistle. At least it's finally getting used for something.
i can recognize that vagina from a mile away
In line at the grocery store. The girl ahead of me is in a wetsuit and just bought 3 cases of beer and a bottle of vodka. I want to go where she's going...
I found a fingernail in my vagina. A fingernail.
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
Nothing brings compassion from a group of cafe workers like walking in and asking if they have a 'hangover special'
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with someone crawling around my carpet for 3 hours trying to pick up spilled coke...
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with ME crawling around your carpet for 3 hours trying to save my investment.
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
One of your snapchats was of you with a 40oz of Mickeys and the caption: "Deep Throat back in her natural habitat"
Had a dream we were competing for tomatos.
Randomize
