Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
I knew I had to get an abortion when his toddler sister came up to hug my leg and I kicked her off saying, "Get off, fucker."
I just told someone i was in "addition and subtraction 160".......and they believed me.
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
The vodka told me to go iceskating on my frozen pool. I may have attempted.
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
Well I turned her sobriety into my own personal drinking game
I apparently started to text you last night. All it said was 'the whole clam'. I hope that means something to you.
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
Plan B, arranged marriage to a rich Indian, is rapidly becoming Plan A. Fuck Finals.
Nothing says Panama City like condoms washing up on the shore.
Nothing can teach you regret more efficiently than a wine hangover.
My makeup bag looks like it has lips and wants to sing to me... Too high?
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