My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
The more I throw up, the more I am remembering exactly what I drank last night...in order.
your idea of a balenced meal is a microwave frozen burrito, a cup of ramen noodles, and a can of budlight. honestly tell me how your resolution is to lose weight,
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
You're either a hooker or Beyonce. Beyonce is abnormally good at doing everything in heels
She said "oh yeah" like Hulk Hogan with the muscle flex and everything. Totally digging this chick
Water skiing blazed is the most scary thing I've ever done.
For my birthday I want you to get me in bed with Donald Trump. That is all. You have 3 months
its the first football sunday and my boyfriend isn't excited. this isn't gonna last unless he makes me snacks and brings me beer during the game.
You have a long distance relationship and I have a long distance snapchat sexting buddy. If that doesn't describe who we are as people then I don't know what does.
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
He was tripping his balls off and kept aggressively saying SIT ON MY FACE. 5 hours and countless orgasms later I've decided I must never let this man go.
Just ate 2 pieces of pizza in the shower.. New low or fuckin brilliant??
Randomize
