Facials are how you say "I love you" in porn star.
The university put out a message about those missing salt and pepper shakers... You should at least give back 60 of them.
he looked like jesus. just the kind of jesus i would have sex with.
My body has become completely dependent on Text Twist. I can't poop without it.
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
If I am going to throw out this whole "born again virgin" thing...i'm not going to do it on someone who is less than 5 inches.
I'm basically a mama hen. I keep them warm and let them wonder around the house. not to mention, I keep eye on them just in case the falcons around the house try to snatch them away.
I don't even know what to say right now
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
Saw the same Luigi I hooked up with last Halloween. Still in his same Luigi costume and scruff that hurt my face
Today is going to be a great day. He just brought me a donut on his dick... It's Sticky Dick Donut Day!!!
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.
Van sex tonight? No need to tell me how classy that sounded.
I just dropped a chicken nugget on the floor and seriously prayed that it would be ok....I think this job is making me crazy.
I'm dancing with a sandwich I just made cause I'm so happy how delicious it tastes, that high haha
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