I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
I gave her a mint afterward. It felt like giving turndown service at Hotel BJ.
He said I was like bonnie and clyde all rolled into one but twice as trashy and 75% less clothes...
He obviously understands you completely.
You turned to me, winked, whispered "man the harpoons" and walked out with the fat chick
I miss my brother. He would have fucked the fat girl for me.
I told you I would
I wouldnt do that to you. You're my actual friend
I have a fever. Last thing I need to do tonight is be elbow deep in old lady pussy.
The great part about clubs is that you can fart everywhere and nobody knows! The bad part is I'm on e and i have nobody to fondle.
I saw this news story about two naked Satanists being arrested so I thought I should ask if you need bail money or pants
At the bar, some guy bumped into you and you screamed "hey, don't touch what you can't afford sunshine!"
I love how when they see that I'm upset their initial response is to offer me ecstasy
Thanks for launching me off you reverse cowgirl. I think I chipped a tooth.
Haha. I have resting bitch face. He has I want y'all to die face. It's a subtle difference
Sorry. We had to leave because I knocked a guy out for saying "yolo".
He wore pink swim trunks on our date and repeatedly insulted my profession, but his cat kept standing up like a person to nuzzle my face and I felt like a Disney Princess. I hate this dude, but the cat is too amazing for me to not fake interest for.
Rum and your dick are involved. You're relying on the unreliable narrator.
Randomize
