the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
Keeping hand sanitizer and lube in the same drawer in the same size bottle = awful idea
Haha Tomato, Tomato. That doesn't work very well via text message.
I wish my dick could take responsibilities for his own actions
Chasing 100 proof soco w water from the tap at 4 pm, it's gonna one of those kinda Thursdays...
He's trying to impress me with how much money he makes. How does he know me so well?
just letting you know, you took a hit of the blunt while sleeping. happy birthday
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
Then while I was crying on his shoulder, he got a boner. Soo. I kinda just hopped on.
Coming straight to your house after the flight. If not in Federal Prison for disobeying peanut laws.
There is a fake eye lash glued to one of my balls.
Eating breakfast at 1:30 in the afternoon stark naked is how everyone should live
What you have to understand is that our lives aren't a disappointment so much as they crashed and burned with lethal doses of radiation and dog shit.
Randomize
