I just found out why they dont make table-dance tables out of glass.
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
He said he wants to make an itinerary for the sex we'll have when I come home.
I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
He ran headfirst into the atm. Thenasmed us what our spirit animals were...he said his was either a dolphin or a cabbage
oh sorry. I thought "boat" was code for "penis"
Dude it's bad when your 10 year old son makes fun of your penis size.
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
I happen to have lost a black t-shirt and the volume button from my phone last night. If anyone finds it. You know what to do.
My mom said she saw you at the grocery store. Said you looked like you were "headed for a Lindsay Lohan quarter life crisis of sorts"
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
No more pre-dentist shots, I just puked on my hygienist
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
Cover your peen. We're going out.
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
Randomize
