remember when she hit me with her car by accident, well apparently it wasn't an accident.
WISH UPON A TAMPON
They constantly get farther than me.
tampons.
You're pretty and everything..but you aren't worth the DUI
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
I was cracked out naked on a toilet pretending I was posing for playboy.. Shit got weird, but apparently I had a good bday.
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
First time on E and Chris took me to a petsmart during puppy day. I might die of pure awesomeness.
I guess I could probably fit that in between deep self reflection and teenage mutant ninja turtles
i spent 45 minutes yellng Heather I feel so bad i wanna die and then 45 more yelling I DONT WANNT TO DIE. thats how drunk i was
Your level of morning after guilt is too much right now. Do less.
I am still awake. And let me sing you the song of my people. Ahem. "I have a bottle of hydrocodone and you all can fuck off."
First night in my new apartment and I threw up in front of my neighbors door. Starting off this relationship strong.
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
I can't tell if my need for dick is more than my want to strangle him
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