Apparently you walked through my house with your dress on your head
so her cute freckles turned out to be blackheads
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
They thought "watering it down" meant adding more vodka
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
I'm having flashbacks from last night. Did I admit to pausing Whitney's funeral because I was watching porn? I believe I did.
I just yelled at a bunch of girl scouts for yelling "cookies" to loudly. That hungover
I just crashed on my couch and have no intention of ever getting up again
I will be over with a bedpan and beer
I slapped him but he didn't wake up. He just nuzzled my head, hugged me closer, and smiled.
I called him a "Beautiful Bastard" with "Beautiful Bastard Hair". That is how you pick up a guy from Denmark.
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
My cat took a shit on the guy who passed out in the bathtub
Does having sex in an airport bathroom with a girl you just met at the bar count as the mile high club? ...no?
He held my hair while I gave him a blow job. Now that's teamwork.
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