it was like he was trying to blow his nose in my vagina
All he wants to do is masturbate while I sit there with my big toe up his ass that is not even the worst part of it.
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
Yesterday you said I was the best.
No. I said you DID your best. There's a huge difference.
This guy dressed as a piece of paper for Halloween, I felt it was only necessary to sign his penis
She moaned the name on my fake id during sex, that or she's cheating on me with someone named Victor
Anybody can graduate from college sober. You try it while being stoned every day for the last three years. 2.75 baby.
Also, there's a guy walking around the kitchen in a shark onzie, and he just asked if we've ever smoked weed with a shark before. I'm dying
AND I woke up to eggs in my bra. Thanks Taco Cabana...
She gave me a boner for the first time in 9 years.
Cooked. Eating pizza. Didn't have a napkin so I took my shirt off and I'm using it.
I deserve this hangover.
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
It’s like a sexy version of those choose your own adventure books from when we were kids. No matter what you choose, there will be penis!
Randomize
