Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
He broke up with me by playing Lynyrd Skynyrd "Free Bird".
The sex was so good, I called my ex during the 2nd time just so he could hear. Is that mean?
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
He tried to eat me out in the bath... I said it was a bad idea, but he said it was good snorkelling practice for vaca.
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
Yo, I can't just ask my mom where she relocated my vibrator to, can I?
Yea. I feel great. My life is great. My job isn't as shitty. And my daddy loves me. I love strip clubs. Great self esteem boost.
I woke up in my tom cruise outfit with my house key tied to my thong....
Right when he asked me if I was on birth control my dad walked in. This is my fate.
I offered him midol and told him "it always helps my period so maybe it'll help yours"
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
The guy got mobbed on, all hell broke loose. About 20 cops showed up, and this kid somehow convinced a cop that letting him pee in front of him is justifiable. This guy could sweet talk Hellen Keller, he was THAT good
He's nice and all but I think I rather masturbate my way to happiness instead.
There was a woman who drank mouth wash to get drunk during her supposed detox...this is def the internship for me!
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