I wasn't fucked. I was just drunk, because i was still able to walk into the woods and masterbate.
We'll both be dead in approximately 72-96 hours, with you bringing your liver out of retirement again, Favre.
As I was driving her home she congratulated each and every deer we saw for making it through the first day of dear season.
last night he took my thong off with his teeth... god bless champagne
It felt like Party Santa dropped by and gave us two more 18-packs.
I'm going to give blood tomorrow. Prepare yourself for pictures and a cynical poem about the heart and its level of tangibility.
Getting haircut. The stylist asked about the body paint dried in my hair. I told her there was prob glitter, too. It was a fun night!
I fell down the stairs while taking the dog out last night. I was laying there with the dog licking me face and my neighbor just stepped over me
We had sex on roll out bean bag chair, and then proceeded to sleep with a blanket with dolphins on it. Happy birthday to me.
I need an inhaler full of pot for all of this breathless rage.
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
soo... how was my night?
I think I fell asleep on my pizza last night. Damn, I am sauccccy.
Woke up went to work ate beef after three year hiatus shat my pants went to bed
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
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