I'm gonna start referring to my vag as my ladygarden
look out your window.... he's holding his iphone up like a boombox playing you beach boys
Did you know that if you hit someone in the head with a frozen loaf of bread you can knock them unconscious?
It's almost like a boob-text, but it's not. Because it was live. And you were showing a bunch of people.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If it makes you feel any better, I had my finger up some guy's butt today... Dominatrix training, ya know...
Today is all about not throwing up, where the fuck are my keys and does anyone know what happened to that guy in the panda suit my roommate had sex with last night.
Just bc you put "its cute" at the end of it doesn't change the fact that u have called me a vag twice this morning and its only 10:03
lets do drugs on my lunch break tomorrow
I got with a bridesmaid and a server as well as put an $80 tab in rum and coke under the name Emerson Iglesias. Are you sure it wasn't my wedding?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Her ex was at the party her housemates were having. He knocked on her door asking how she was while we were going at it. Turns out they were trying to work things out. Don't think I'll ever forget his face when we walked out of her room.
He was cheering for me from the end of the bar as I sloppily ate a Ruben sandwich. It made me feel really special.
you face planting the wall was epic
did you at least save my tooth
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
MDMA, margaritas, mashed potatoes and ice cream aren't keto Kristin
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
Randomize