i just shit 3 out of the 4 types of matter
She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
she told me her two favorite things were grocery stores and dick.
Hey, I can't get ahold of Tommy. Let him know his ex-girlfriend is pregnant.
She just left after she spent the past 2.5 hours fuckin the shit out of me. I'll put that in the logbook as a cross country
a small fire erupted but we put it out with a can of beer so everything's fine
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
God forbid we drive unregistered mopeds without license plates on a pedestrians only sidewalk without goggles while flipping off passing cars.
You are very nonchalant about the high probability of us having an orgy.
Eh, I'm ok with this, this can work. We're the best kind of the worst people.
I borrowed a glass of wine. And the bottle. Your cat said it was ok
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
Day 1 of the Fuck Your Ex weekend has been productive. Already boned Steph and we're both still glad we arnt together anymore.
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
If you had a dick, I would hope it falls off and comes back to haunt you while fucking your ears at night. But you don't. But if you did, that's how mad I am at you
Randomize
