Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
I'm pre-party power houring. It's so catchy I couldn't not do it
My coke dealer 411'd my work number just to see how I was doing and gave me his new number. He must miss my business
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Revised rule: don't put your dick in the general vacinity of mental instability.
Not even dry humping. Not even a little bit.
do you know where my other puke covered boot is
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
my parents have to start far too many of our conversations with the sentence "this is an observation, not a judgment" than I'm proud of
Just remembered I said your cat looked delicious last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
oh btw ur so lucky i got stoned and passed out or we sooo would have bedazzled your dick while you slept. just sayin.
All I've been thinking about for the past 12 hours is sex and SEAWORLD
I need a nap, Harry Potter movies, and dick in this exact order after work.
Next time I try to break into the police station drunk, please stop me.
the cops drove by and you were on your back in the middle of the side walk with your arms and legs in the air yelling that you were a dead bug .
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
Randomize