when you find your car can you pick me up? his mom is here and im hungover
tweet Hawks Win!! tweet
That's how twitter works, right?
The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
her bridesmaids come in huge, huger, wtf, and free willy. all their gown are strapless. its like watching the Hindenburg waddle down the isle.
You tried taking his shirt off at the bar. He was 37 and married with kids.
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
This is what happens when you live with someone you met on Grindr
I immediately knew he was tripping, he came over with a grocery bag of snow balls and a bike helmet on and asked if I was prepared to die for my country.
You know you're fucked up when you decide to pour fireball whiskey in your vegetable beef soup
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
The guy I hooked up with two weeks ago just friended me on Venmo, I honestly won't be mad if he pays me for the sex
You know, normal sex stuff involves shitting your pants. If you do it right.
He came into my room last night and started peeing underneath my desk, I told him the bathroom was the next door over.
My boss is paying me to come clean his house in a maid outfit and told me not to tell anyone....this is shady as fuck but I need the money
He doesn't understand the concept of a strip club. He keeps falling in love
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