i just realized that no matter how many potstickers i eat, i will never be asian
he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8.
why is there cat hair all over my deoderant?
she wanted to smell more freshershest than you.
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
Just served breakfast to a bunch of hella drunk kids. They kidnapped the birthday boy for his 21st and he was wearing a disney onesy and bunny ears. They've been drinking since before dawn, why don't we have friends like that?
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
He's gotta be able to drive a truck, make me mac n cheese and give me the best orgasms. That's my perfect man
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
I just did a line of coke with an Olympic bronze medallist. I guess we know why he only got bronze.
dude, i just accidentally flashed your mom. BIG TIME.
Brett got me a cake with a pic of me shitting
I wish I had a Tina from Bob's Burgers in real life. She would be the best wingman.
Trump won PA by a fucking landslide. If only Cruz hadn't eaten that booger.
There's a bull to ride and dancing on the bar is encouraged. This is my heaven. And this is why god made leopard tube tops.
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