I just saw a neon sign in a bar window that says, "open to Public" but the L is burnt out.
he just booty called me in advance instead of waiting til 3 am when hes trashed. i think thats really considerate and gentlemanlike.
I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
Also, beer. Big fan.
I may or may not already be in your hot tub when you get home. I have a key to your house and no shame.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
hahaha every time i hear a motorcycle i think about that one time you almost died
Thanks for the flashbacks you prick.
We are 100% horrible people, and im extremely happy we are friends
If you hear death cries, thats me singing. Just let me be.
He is getting no nudes from me. I don't even care if I'm losing his legal advice.
Dude I left his house at 5:30 a.m. after you peed on his front door and then tried to fight me for my blanket. Don't even do that at my house or I will end you.
hahahahaha. Worst. Text. Ever.
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
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