Sorry I totally forgot to text you back. When you texted me I was at work at the pharmacy and it was stupid busy. And then of course I had my 8 hour "shoot me b/c half of Loyola comes in to buy plan B" shift.
Ill pay your DUI fine if you just come see me nooooowwwww
no. its 2:30am and im not going to jail for a booty call
After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
Of course, you get to fuck all night while I'm stuck in the girls bathroom sucking a limp dick for coke
We invented "Diesel Bombs." They're supposed to be a bomb, but they come in a 20+ oz. glass and have a blackout record of 6 wins and 0 losses. Undoubtedly going to be the next Muhammed Ali of the drinking world.
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
Abby spilt her vodka all over the train's bathroom floor
WE'RE THE ONES DRESSED UP FOR THE LARGEST DRINKING HOLIDAY IN AMERICA WHO ELSE ON THIS TRAIN IS A SUSPECT FOR THIS SMELL?!
If you ever insult pizza rolls again, I will dragon kick you in the throat
You aren't truly friends with someone until you play drinking games via text at 8:30 in the morning.
And then he said, "let's have sex and I'll send you home with enchiladas."
So what's your itinerary for Amsterdam?
Show up, get drunk, get laid, try not to miss my flight home.
Be quiet or buzz aldrin will come beat you up with science
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
He made me come so hard I punched another hole in the wall mid orgasm.
I'm not fixing this one for you. Do it your own damn self.
Randomize
