Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
And by that I mean I told her the plot of the first batman movie as my life and it took her like 20 minutes to figure it out
While we were having sex he told me "this is what you get for not parking my car right" I have never drove his car. He was that kind of weird.
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
He said female orgasms are a myth and refuses to even try to give me one.
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
I did too many shots and now a kitten is trying to eat my bagel.
You kept whispering "Party Dave" every time someone would start talking.
I am in the bathroom at work, pooing while eating pretzels. Hungover Fridays are in full effect
I got a 5/5 with my "I don't want a baby" rant essay. She said my use of the word "leeches" was a powerful metaphor :)
IM HUNGOVER AT MOTHERS DAY BRUNCH AND A NUN FROM CHURCH JOINED US
I solemnly swear to help bail you out of jail when you throw a dildo at a politician.
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