Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
I came home to burning cookies and him outside "tanning" naked.
He just wants an even tan
I just found pie in my hoodie pocket... This break needs to end.
My ex just called and told me that he is on his way to the hospital because he popped a vein in his dick. Should I go to the ER with him or class?
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
Yehhhaaww I'm way ahead of you. I'm gunna get her a card that says " I'm sorry your now ex boyfriend decided to upgrade"
We're stoned and watching little Einstein videos. Come. Over. Now.
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
Whoever was doing lines off my iPad is a dick. Also bring Gatorade, for I hunger
For Who flesh?
I legitimately just had to leave work because I am too hungover. The front office ladies keep making fun of me.
you started putting peanut butter on your pubes.
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
I just found a live peacock hanging out behind the bar. I coerced it into my car and now I have a peacock bro that lives with me.
Randomize
