I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
Can you bring me a pair of sunglasses to the bathroom please... Don't judge me.
There's a skateboard on the patio and all the chips are gone. The note on the fridge says 'don't buy cheese'. Stop letting her go outside.
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
There is only one good excuse for how sore I am right now. And that is incredibly acrobatic sex. Unfortunately for me that is not my excuse.
The one thing I know about living in Vegas is the closest I'll ever come to being a father is singing the theme song from Full House to a garbage can while I eat an entire birthday cake.
Just did a relay race involving shotgunning beers, cannonballs and riding a blowup whale. Never want to leave vacation.
note to self: shower sex when you have 7 stitches in your leg is never a good idea. never.
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
All I'm saying is that if he knows his wife walks around naked during the day, he shouldn't bring a friend home for lunch and show up unannounced.
I've been rehabbing my soul with cheese and wine lately
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
Randomize
