ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
Sometimes I wonder if we could be friends if we lived closer.
drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
I'm having a flashback of telling a guy that he was beautiful and graceful like a unicorn while playing shuffleboard.
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
I'd like to thank you fucktards for dumping the WHOLE box of Tricuits in my bed after I passed out.
pro-tip: weed infused snickerdoodles are far less conspicuous to eat at work than brownies. no one ever suspects the snickerdoodle.
I told him if he wanted to lose weight he had to learn self control. Less than ten minutes after that I ate a cookie off the floor...
Her instagram is literally selfies, cats, and guys she's fucked.
So I'm pretty sure I told every one at the party that "I'm going to fuck my pillow pets tonight?"
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
My dog just blew me a kiss. First of all I'm stoned and second of all he's a pitbull. Those aren't sexual dogs. So wtf.
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