he spit gasoline on a tiki torch to impress a girl. he caught on fire but did get laid. success.
I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
Women are like Alzheimers patiens. You can compliment them a million times in a day, but the next day is always a wash, you have to start all over.
Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
Im still in bed and cant move and i only had Two beers and a shot last night... how did I make it in college?
God gave us a 4 year grace period.
Always fun waking up to 911 as your last dialed call.
We decided that the paper cups disintegrating was god's way of telling us we had had enough
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
Actually, considering the facts that I am wearing a duct tape dress and eating a gas station quesadilla, I am pretty good.
He is crying over the toilet and his friends just came in and tried to make him take another jello shot.
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
all I've ever wanted was a guy with twelve cats who will tie me up in bed
The magnum condom fits. I feel like a manly version of cinderella
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