didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
I had to stop messing around with him for fear of laughing in his face. I swear it was a pinky finger in his pants
The man at the Honda dealership told me I smell like vodka and probably shouldn't be driving.
I'm watching ellen!
just because im gay does not mean you need to notify me every time you watch the ellen degeneres show
We were sexting and then the radio announced robert pattinson would be playing kurt cobain in a movie and it totally killed the mood
Just bought a pack of cigs...gas station guy informed me i took off my underwear and tried to pop a squat by the milk last night...
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
thank god we only have to drink eggnog and rum once a year. It taste like shit.
I went commando last night, then accidentally flashed a police van...They acknowledged it.
I cannot FaceTime with your penis
You took photos of my underwear around London the day after! THAT was too soon.
I knew it was a bad night when the only thing I could remember was you force feeding me tortilla chips as I hugged the tire of my car and begged to have my stomach pumped.
Full body rubs, head scratches, foot rubs, massages, a penis that is able to get hard whenever you want it. I mean ive got a lot to offer
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