Stuck in the Dallas airport. At the bar. Everytime a flight to DC gets cancelled, I'm takin a shot. Fuck you snow.
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
I need to make a new year's resolution to only pee in toilets. And it needs to start happening before the new year.
yeah but think of how much more hungover we'd be if we didn't steal those cookies
He pissed on a police station. Then expected to not be arrested. Sounds accurate.
i know i shouldn't tell you this since i want you to really like me but i just spent the last 4 hours sleeping on the toilet.
Also, beer. Big fan.
Whenever I'm not in the mood and don't want to go to bed swampy, I just strategically suck him off during the second period intermission of the Cup playoffs and he leaves me alone and does the dishes. It's a win-win.
Heard you were the one that shit off Jamie's balcony. FYI there is a cabbie down here out for blood
He interrupted me giving him head to ask if I were hungry, because he wanted to eat pizza. Wtf.
Omg I just woke up. In the hallway outside my room. I know you had something to do with this
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
Randomize
